If I could knit faster, I wouldn't feel so helpless...

I have a friend. No, she's far more than that. I have tried for decades to describe this relationship, and I can't. Something like friend/sister/mother/aunt all rolled into one. We're not related by blood, but that's the only thing that makes the definition difficult. She is part of our family. She does not live near me, and we talk only sporadically, but we are as close as ever.

My "friend" (I think I'll call her Meri, which isn't her real name) is in the hospital. Three years ago, she had a heart transplant. It is miraculous that she is still with us today; it was a matter of days, just waiting for the right heart. She almost didn't get one. The transplant went well, and she has been able to regain an almost normal life. After almost 3 years, it seemed that she was out of the woods. I saw her less than a month ago at my brother's wedding, and she looked fabulous. She was laughing and dancing and smiling and it was so good to see her.

Last night, I got the call that Meri was in the hospital. It appears to be rejection of the heart. On a scale of 0-4, with 0 being the best and 4 being oh so not good, she is at a 3.5. None of us really know what that means. They are doing everything they can to try to figure out what's going on, because everything else appears normal. They are confident. We are worried.

She'll be in the hospital at least until Monday, when she is scheduled to have more tests. It will probably be longer than that.

My first instincts last night were to knit her a pair of socks. Last time she was hospitalized, I was not a knitter. Now I am, and I understand the desire to wrap the people you love in comfort, through knitting. I have 2 balls of worsted weight cashmere sitting here on my desk, and I want nothing more than to have them knit up and in FedEx's hands.

But I know that I am too slow. I don't know if this is enough yarn. It's only 1.2 ounces. I can steal some different cashmere from another project that is somewhere in my UFO pile, I suppose. But I don't know her foot measurements, or even her shoe size. I think it's a 9, but the steroids she's on now will change her weight and measurements. And if I did nothing but knit all weekend, it would still take me too long. I feel totally helpless.